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Phone: 07974 421733
Abuse and Trauma therapy
Treatment: Cognitive Behavioural therapy / Hypnotherapy / Psychotherapy
Typical causes of psychological trauma are sexual abuse, or violence not only experiencing it first-hand but also witnessing it, particularly in childhood. Being involved in an accident or having a life-threatening experience can provoke symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress disorder.
People who experience trauma may re-experience it in the form of flashbacks which can be triggered by reminders such as smells, sounds, or images. A flashback is a re-experiencing of the traumatic event, sometimes these occur as nightmares but can happen during the day, sometimes in unexpected situations. The thoughts or flashbacks can come to haunt the person causing distress and anxiety sometimes causing panic-attacks. The person may be unaware of what the trigger was. Dissociation or emotional detachment can often happen, this numbing of the emotions can make the person seem distant or cold. Sometimes the memory is repressed altogether.
These symptoms can lead to feelings of despair, anger, fear and loss of self-esteem. These responses tend to lead to depression and this is often when the person will seek help. There are ways that people try to deal with the feelings and these may be the use of alcohol, drugs, developing eating disorders or self-harm. These are all to help numb the pain.
People try to:
- Excuse the perpetrator of abuse – "it was a way of showing love," "she was under too much stress."
- Make light of it, "I was only touched, it wasn’t full intercourse," "he bruised me but it didn’t go any further." "I might have fallen."
- Blame themselves, "if I hadn’t done ….. he wouldn’t have got so angry." "it was my fault really…"
The longer-term effects of abuse can result in an inability to trust because the trust has been violated, especially if the person was abused as a child. Issues of trust can lead to difficulties in intimate relationships and even prevent friendships as they feel it’s best to keep themselves to themselves in order not to get hurt again. This can lead to isolation and loneliness. Lack of trust in their own judgments can also be a difficulty for an abused person. Many people who have been abused do not like or love themselves and so don’t take the risk of letting people get to know them.
Intimate relationships can be a problem for those who were sexually abused and can lead to sexual confusion, fear of sex. In the case of physical abuse the person may be tense or tearful at intimate contact and display anger inappropriately. Survivors of abuse may find themselves getting into unhelpful relationship patterns, such as being a perfect carer or rescuer or getting into abusive relationships.
Feelings of self-worth are low because they have not been treated with the love and respect they deserve many people who have been abused do not learn to feel love and respect for themselves. They can feel a strong sense of being bad or unlovable in some way. They may feel inferior to others. People with low self-esteem and confidence may have difficulties in saying no to people, have problems in making decisions and are often taken advantage of.
Angry outbursts are often experienced by people who have been abused, they have a well of anger inside unsurprisingly, and sometimes the anger comes out unexpectedly which can result in the person feeling ashamed or foolish. Guilt is a common feeling for abused people and this adds to the pressure they are under. This often results in self-critical thoughts which makes people feel worse about themselves and can result in not achieving or performing as well as they would like or of what was expected of them. This can lead to self-harm which can take the form of cutting, burning, scratching or abusing alcohol or drugs or putting themselves in dangerous situations.
If you recognise yourself in any of this then therapy will help you deal with the past and stop it affecting the present and future. You can grow to stop hating yourself and make sense of your feelings by gently and slowly exploring the past. To do this I use Cognitive Behavioural Therapy to deal with the flashbacks and to move forward. I use Psychodynamic Therapy to explore feelings and childhood issues to heal the hurt child part of yourself and to combine both to explore and change relationship patterns. I would also use some Transactional Analysis, which is about the Parent, Adult and Child parts of ourselves to gain understanding and self-acceptance. Hypnotherapy is useful for Post Traumatic Stress and for strengthening the ego, I am careful about doing any age regression.